He obviously wasn’t invited to the Manchester United Christmas party

In an audience with Giancarlo Abete, head of the Italian Football League, and a delegation of Serie D clubs (that’s Italian for Blue Square conference north), Pope Benedict XVI claimed that football can teach young people important lessons in life.

Sir Alex Ferguson’s counterpart in the Catholic church claimed that the beautiful game could ‘increasingly be the vehicle of the values of honesty, solidarity and fraternity’. Quite how these values should be applied to the greediest sport on the planet in which cheating has been elevated to an art form was unremarked upon. Doubtless His Holiness has some of his best bishops on it already, though.

(On the theme of solidarity, Pope Benedict could perhaps start at his own club, Bayern Munich. Yes, that’s the team whose goalkeeper was fined and sidelined for a xenophobic outburst at some of his own teammates.)

And Il Papa obviously hasn’t been paying enough attention to the Premier League – Ronaldo was caught steamrollering his way through neighbouring Rome with a couple of ladies of the night just a few weeks ago, while the only show of ‘fraternity’ at Manchester Utd comes during roasting sessions. And let’s not even get started on Joey Barton.

Seems like those important lessons aren’t getting through, your holiness…