Lure of Ashley’s millions to much to keep him at his bizarre business venture.

When Kevin Keegan quit football “for good” in March 2005, he went on to work for another company, whose primary concern is, er, football. Soccer Circus is a ‘fully interactive football attraction, engaging visitors in a series of exciting, immersive football challenges’. Essentially, it’s an expensive football “experience” for corporate events and birthday parties, created and developed by the Geordie messiah, and which involves a bit of coaching and a kickabout.

The skills centre in Renfrew, Scotland is designed to help kids get fit, but presumably Paul Gascoigne was one of the programme consultants – activities include watching skills on a TV and a bar.

Keegan’s grinning face is plastered all over the website, but alas his talents will no longer be dedicated to urging spoilt children and accountants through the cones on unnecessary team building exercises. They’ll be focussed on a different group of spoilt professionals instead.