Use social networking to pretend you know famous people!

Are you bored with your regular friends? Are they not famous enough, or adept in the practise of fivesomes? Well stuff people you can talk to and socialise with - add some Premier League footballers to your clique!

In a move that has literally taken my Facebook habits by storm, I have started Premier League friend whoring. So far, I have found what appear to be genuine profiles from Leroy Lita, Theo Walcott, Wayne Routledge and Anthony Stokes. If you are so inclined, it might be worth sending them a friend request - if they accept your olive branch, it’s obvious that you both share a desire to look like you have more friends, and thus you’re probably highly compatible associates.

Remember to be realistic with your friend whoring – avoid looking for David Beckham and go for young, computer literate stars. The type who would be caught spanking it on webcams. (Well, perhaps not exactly that type) And the lower down the leagues you go, the more likely you are to get a successful friend request/ player who is desperate for any type of praise.

Let us know how you get on with this super-fun-yet-slightly-stalkerish game with a comment below!