Except for Torres, who couldn’t be bothered

Liverpool’s December Christmas party was postponed when Stevie G allowed masked intruders to burgle his home and terrify his wife. To make up for the celebration-halting gaff, he pulled out all the stops at the rescheduled event with some thoroughly over-the-top prosthetics.

Having dressing as a parrot last year, Peter Crouch let us a little further into his subconscious bird obsession by dressing as a penguin. Which bird next year, Pete? Falcon? Budgie?

Daniel Agger’s homage to the punk greats such as Good Charlotte showed effort, as did Steve Finnan’s Beetlejuice and Sami Hyypia’s strange skeleton Viking thing.

But there’s always one. Just like Shevchenko turned up at the Chelsea party in his finest jumper and jeans, Fernando ‘Buzz Killington’ Torres stood out like a boring party-pooping sore thumb at the Scouse bash. He bowled up to the venue (Jamie Carragher’s Sports England restaurant) looking like he was off to the cinema or something. Is that £90k a week not enough for a trip to the fancy dress shop, Fernando?