Jermain Defoe has had enough of her abhorrent personality

It seems that Jermain Defoe scored a double victory on Tuesday – not only did his side beat their fiercest rivals, but earlier in the day he managed to get Danielle Lloyd to move out of his house.

The Big Brother racist was given her marching orders after a rollercoaster two month relationship. It is unknown whether she was upset, or whether she is capable of human emotion. Nevertheless, she has dealt with the split in exactly the same way as her predecessor Charlotte Mears – she’s currently booked into a West London hospital to get her hate-filled cleavage surgically expanded.

Suddenly, the events of Tuesday night all make sense – Jermain turned up alone at Chinawhite, a place that Danielle Lloyd would never leave if they didn’t close. Plus, his ex Charlotte Mears turned up (do I spot a reconciliation on the horizon?) and he left with the classy-looking slice of femininity pictured above.

Meanwhile, The Spoiler has a crack team of scientists working day and night in order to determine why the hell so many attractive girls would actually want to go out with Defoe. The investigation continues…