Just blame the post

Damien Duff’s girlfriend shouldn’t hold her breath waiting for a Valentines Card next week - it seems that the Irishman can’t get anything through the postal system.

Back in October, the Newcastle star was asked to contact police after he was caught doing 102mph on the A1. The information never arrived with the fuzz, but Duff managed to get away scot-free because he provided proof of postage.

The CPS have just dropped another motoring charge against Duff, because his solicitor was able to prove he posted the documents to Northumbria Police. The force denied receiving the correspondence, but because the item was not sent by recorded delivery, it was impossible to tell whether it had been mislaid or was lost in the system.

The way I see it, this mysterious fine dodging is a result of one of the following:

a) Terrible luck

b) Duff is not familiar with how to operate a postbox

c) His large dog and lousy Christmas tips have sparked a postie vendetta

d) The winger is bunging someone at the Post Office in order to exploit a legal loophole and avoid a driving ban

Take your pick, folks.

[The Offside]