This has nothing to do with sport, but come on!

In a move possibly designed to bring a subversive and comedic end to the honours system in this country, The Spoiler has learned that amongst the next crop of honourees is none other than celebrity barber Nicky Clarke - OBE for services to hair!

Mr Clarke is almost certainly an excellent person, and few people can claim to “make every day a good hair day,” as his website states (although many have tried), but can a senior member of the royal family be wheeled out to bestow this honour and ever hope to be taken seriously again?

When Prince Charles asks his aide, “And what does this chap do?” and the whispered answer comes, “Mr Nicholas Clarke, sah. Hairdresser, sah. His Smooth It Over 60 Second Secret Intensive Treat Conditioner was voted “Best Budget Deep Conditioner” in the 2007 Grazia Hair Awards, sah,” will HRH finally accept that the pomp and rituals as performed solemnly by his family for centuries have finally reached their end? Or will he be modern about it and have the courage to say the unsayable for an heir to the throne - “What would you recommend, Mr Clarke, instead of Head & Shoulders?”