Keegan’s helpless animal meets Fergie’s ruthless machine
Oh dear. Newcastle’s forthcoming mismatch with Manchester United is taking on all the characteristics of a curious little black and white puppy’s investigation of the whirling blades of a big red lawn mower. At the beginning of the season, Newcastle would not have felt overconfident about getting anything out of this fixture anyway, even more so now given the ease with which United tore Arsenal’s legs off last week. But with the Keegan experiment yet to bear any fruit at all, the need to avoid another defeat has taken on a terrible urgency. Instead of focussing on where points can be earned between now and the end of the season, Keegan has promised “surprises” in the United game. Given that Newcastle seem barely capable of mastering the basics of the Premier League football, it seems a little rash to be hinting at magic and trickery just yet. And just as when small dogs decide it’s time to teach the motor mower a lesson, the surprises, without exception, are unpleasant.
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The statistics
* Four of the last six league encounters at St James’ Park have been all square at the break. The other two have both seen the away side take a 1-0 lead into the half time interval.
* Manchester Utd have been awarded more corners than the home side in an impressive eight of twelve Premier league fixtures on the road this season. They average 6.3 corners in every away game.
* There have been fifty-eight goals in the last fourteen encounters between the sides, a remarkable average of over four goals per game.
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6 responses so far
1 Matt // Feb 22, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Aside from Man U’s flattering result in the FA Cup when Arsenal seemed disinterested, Man U’s recent form is been fairly poor (losing to Man City & draws with Spurs & Lyon). Newcastle should be rested and an upset is possible.
2 Journalistic Critic // Feb 22, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Very good……I complement you on your rather average skills as a ”journalist”. Might you be a Man Utd supportor or may be a fan of Sunderland or the Boro. The best bit of content on this page is the WAG advert in the top right. Go and try to get yourself laid instead of being so sad.
”I would love it if we beat them….love it”
Come on Newcastle - put in a performance full of pride. If not for the fans, do it to shut up bafoons like this author.
3 Journalistic Critic // Feb 22, 2008 at 2:33 pm
p.s. looking forward to visiting your site on Monday if we get a result cos you’ll look like a proper dick after writing this pap.
4 faustino // Feb 22, 2008 at 2:42 pm
The form we’re in a 1-0 defeat would be an amazing result.
5 blue moon // Feb 22, 2008 at 2:54 pm
You might love it if you beat them… but you wont. Why dont you Geordies accept that nearly evedrything that is written about your club is TRUE. Just read that piece above again - there’s nothing in there that would suggest the journalist is a Man Utd fan. Outside you’re liittle St james bubble every other football fan recognises that Keegan hasnt won a match and Newcastle are currently the WORST form team in the League. FACT.
6 RedbyDawn // Feb 23, 2008 at 12:57 pm
I like the first comment which talks about Uniteds current form. All well and good but I’m sure Keegans barcodes would take a couple of shoddy games in the league/europe and giving Arsenal a hiding over their current up-shit-creek-without-a-paddle type form.
That being said, I’m a Liverpool fan so please give them Manc cunts a good hiding for me Newcastle!