High Street Honey provides a ray of light in the darkness of St James’ Park

These days, Newcastle defenders have nothing to boast about, but there’s an exception to this rule in towering centre-back Steven Taylor. He may be immersed in a world of leaky defence misery on the pitch, but when the whistle goes, he gets to go home to inaugural FHM High Street Honeys winner Tanya Robinson, who, as you may gather, is completely averse to wearing anything on the top half of her body.

Tanya’s links with Newcastle don’t end with Mr Taylor - in 2005 she was romantically linked with fallen hero Paul Gascoigne. It turned out that the reports and photographs, however, were completely fabricated by media mogul/ daft-haired chubber Darryn Lyons, who used the story as an excuse to promote Tanya’s girl band, Mrs. Robinson (who were, incidentally, called ‘Twisted Sisterz’ until Twisted Sister told them to stop it). He obviously didn’t do a great job of promoting the feisty pop-rock troupe, as they released one single that didn’t chart and then promptly fell off the face of the earth.

Spoiler bonus: Tanya recorded cover versions of ‘Do You Think I’m Sexy’ and ‘I Touch Myself’ in the name of FHM. Thankfully, I’m not going to make you listen to one of those, but instead will treat you to a clip of Tanya pole dancing to a much less atrocious tune.

[Pics: FHM and Zoo. See more NSFW Tanya treats at Zoo Today]