King Kev’s rudderless ship is in grave danger
On February 1st, The Spoiler audaciously suggested Newcastle would be involved in a relegation battle. Despite statistical evidence, some of the more sensitive Geordies took great offense to the implication that they could finish in the bottom three, but now most are accepting King Kev will have very sweaty palms for the final nine games.
In addition to our original prophecy of doom, here’s a few more reasons why The Toon could be about to drop like Danielle Lloyd’s underwear:
» Newcastle still have the worst form in the league. In the last eight games, even perpetual strugglers Derby have amassed more points (three) than them (two).
» If all the teams transfer their form into their remaining games from the same number of proceeding games then Newcastle will go down. The league table would look like this:
12. Middlesbrough - 41 points
13. Wigan - 40 points
14. Birmingham - 37 points
15. Sunderland - 37 points
16. Reading - 34 points
17. Bolton - 33 points
18. Newcastle - 30 points
19. Fulham - 25 points
20. Derby - 13 points
» They have kept just one clean sheet in their last twelve games, and just four all season. They are conceding just under two (1.93) goals per game on average.
» The most points any side has ever gone down on is forty two (West Ham, 2003). The least amount of points that any side has ever stayed up on was thirty-four (West Brom, 2004).
For more information on Newcastlle’s plight, or to research their form for yourself, visit chickendinner
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25 responses so far
1 steven // Mar 13, 2008 at 12:49 pm
being a newcastle united season ticket holder i can tell you first hand that ALL newcastle fans are worried about the predicament we find ourselves in. But looking at the fixtures we have remaining (Fulham, Reading, Sunderland at home) and looking at some of the fixtures the other teams have i am still confident we have enought to drag ourselves out of this horrible mess we are in.
2 steve-0 // Mar 13, 2008 at 12:56 pm
You completely ignore the fact in our games weve played man u and arsenal as well as liverpool away….the other teams you talk of havent. yip i can really see all those teams picking up 9points against chelsea, arsenal and man u…we will stay up but due to the fact there are teams a lot worse. nothing to do with form. dont you just love lazy ‘journalism’!!
3 Blue G // Mar 13, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Think you’ll find there are also 5 other games in an 8 games run…and most of the other teams around have played at least one of the Bif Four if not more.
No matter what fixtures you have, 11 games without a win is relegation form full stop.
4 Zero Cool // Mar 13, 2008 at 2:33 pm
ya know Steve-o I agree with most everything you say outside of the lazy journalism. But you are correct on everything else. Looking at the schedule there is no reason we shouldn’t stay up, as King Kev says we need to control our own destiny. I’ve been saying it since we signed him in January, if we can make it to the Summer in the premier league then we’ll qualify for the UEFA Cup next year.
5 dave // Mar 13, 2008 at 2:53 pm
what a stupid fucking dick website
6 basher73 // Mar 13, 2008 at 3:06 pm
if newcastle go down the fans will still think they are gona sign deco, ronaldinho, ronaldo, totti,etc etc and finish in the a champions league spot where they belong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , fickle fickle supporters
7 Whumpie // Mar 13, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Interesting to see that even if we continued our form against the likes of Manure and Arse, we’d still be only one place from safety. So if anything, this article has given me hope.
I reckon we’ll finish 15th. Which is shocking, but right now I’d take it.
8 Big Gaz // Mar 13, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Basher73. How can you say we have fickle fans? We might be doing shite but the turnstiles are still spinning. Other teams lose 2 games on the trot and the attendance drops by half. Do you actually know what fickle means? Half wit ! !
9 Dan // Mar 13, 2008 at 4:38 pm
I’d love it, LOVE IT if Newcastle went down.
10 Graeme Wilson // Mar 13, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Hes small, hes grey, he’ll only walk away Keegan, Keegan. He should be given an OBE, Out Before Easter
11 Andrew // Mar 13, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Holy crap wouldnt it be FUNNY as hell if the mags went down i keep hearing that there players are too good to go down truth is Leeds went down and people said that about them and this whole cry about weve had Chelsea, Man Utd and Arsenal so what you got beat off Blackburn at home you couldnt beat Derby or Bolton you guys are in the shit and it is about time this happened to you and the black and whites can suffer in the championship maybe another Leeds you might lose all your STARS and drop through the trap door to the Division 1 (COULD HAPPEN)!!!!
12 London Mag // Mar 13, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Lets all laugh at the Mags.
What is it with so called hacks of today. This piece is so f@cking original I could laugh.
You will be eating your silly small them minded article in May mate. The supporters will carry them over the line, and will you be laughing when Keegan completely changes the look and style of the team next season. Bring it on. Howay the lads
13 Manabouttoon // Mar 13, 2008 at 8:22 pm
In Newcastle schools is there a subject that involves the teacher reading out a factual news item and then the children spend the next 55 minutes shouting it down as the work of southern ‘hacks’ until it is indoctrinated - deep. Newcastle have a massive wage bill, foolishly sacked a decent manager, foolishly employed an old icon who was never going to be able to cope with the rigours of the premier league, have a massive wage bill for underperforming players, are 3 points from the drop and have the worst form in the league - it would be a crime NOT to write about it
14 Manabouttoon // Mar 13, 2008 at 8:23 pm
did i mention they have a massive wage bill? sorry
15 Lars Ulrichs Merchandise Manager // Mar 13, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Damn these lazy journalists using facts and data to write articles, i’m off to fire my GP for using his knowledge and medical information to make me healthier.
16 basher73 // Mar 14, 2008 at 7:03 am
fickle
Quick to change one’s opinion or allegiance; insincere; not loyal or reliable.
think i do and you seem to do it with all your managers and staff allardyce gullit (sexy football) joey barton (Signing of the season) alan smith (the missing link from the strike force) albert luque freddy shepard john hall last but not least michael the goal machine owen who many would now let go on a free
i think this would fall under the quick to change one’opinion description of the word if im not mistaken
17 basher73 // Mar 14, 2008 at 7:07 am
2005 Premiership 51,844
1990 Division Two (Old) 21,579
and this would fall under the allegiance bracket i would think what would make over 3o thousand more fans jump on your trophy less bandwagon cos ther fickle need i go on
18 basher73 // Mar 14, 2008 at 7:12 am
big gaz read london mags article and i think it will comply with everything i wrote you all sound like little orpahan annie ‘the sun will come up tomorrow’ BUT it doesnt so you may as well wipe the dust of your man united top and let your little club drift to where it came from pre keegan 20,000 ish championship club say a sheff utd or a wolves
19 Big Gaz // Mar 14, 2008 at 11:36 am
OOOOO ! ! Did we eat a dictionary this morning Basher.In 1990 we did not have the stadium for 52,000, (just like many clubs don’t now in 2008) so how could we fit them in?? You dam fool ! !Seems like I hit a nerve. Are you a Man Utd fan ? Bloody Cockneys ! Soft southern shandy swigging Puffs. P.S. check your spelling and grammer.
20 Harpo // Mar 14, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Girls, girls, girls, stop getting so wound up. Have a beer and let it unfold. Big Gaz, step back, Basher73 is winding you up. With a big hint in the 73 (who won thw cup that year?) he’s obviously a mackem.
Let them laugh, let them all have their little bit of fun but by fuck we’ll be laughing on Arpril the 19th when we secure our safety with a fine home win. Remember being a Geordie makes you secure with our your superiority.
God chose us.
21 Noddy55 // Mar 14, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Roy Keane has been arrested this morning. he was taken away with a brown labrador for questioning.
22 mack1969 // Mar 14, 2008 at 1:02 pm
and if they do go down, lets hope they do a leeds!
23 Dave99 // Mar 14, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Basher73 - how exactly deos being relegated and the fans still thinking their going to do well, make them fickle?
Worst team in league on form, average premier league gate above 50,000 = fickle does it?
24 basher73 // Mar 14, 2008 at 5:37 pm
wait and see bet neither of you have a season ticket oh you must be some of the thousands and thousands on the ten year waiting list, and you get 50,000 because alot of fans already bought tickets on the promise big sam would turn the club into a force again! how many tickets had you sold for stoke before keegan was touted as the next boss EXACTLY.mike ashley made million by taking over dead beat company’s dividing it’s asset’s and selling on exactly what he’ll do to tha TOON and what better to get keegan back and arouse intrested in the club again get the geordie nation’s well earned giro’s before they spiralled into division one like leeds, but looks like even king kev can’t save you this time
25 arse biscuit // Mar 14, 2008 at 7:42 pm
0 points on Monday; a draw v Fulham and Keegan is taking the long walk upstairs. Come on down, Mr Denis Wise. Hohoho.