‘Grotesque’ new homes anger toffee-nosed villagers

Residents of a posh Cheshire village have taken time away from their backgammon games, wine racks and learning the Daily Mail by heart to complain about ‘The Rooney effect’, whereby Premiership footballers, almost always from a different part of the social spectrum, knock down perfectly good houses to make way for their vast pleasure domes. The Torygraph reports:

Norman Moffitt, the vice-chairman of Prestbury parish council, said: “We’ve seen some very nice houses being knocked down and replaced by new ones, some of which are pretty grim and others which are simply horrific.”

Wayne and Coleen, who need just one bedroom, bulldozed a five-bedroom family home to make way for their humongous new gaff (pictured above, under construction) - a trend started by Mark Hughes and continued by the likes of Michael Carrick, Roy Keane and cricketer Andrew Flintoff.

Petitions have been organised to stop more of the monstrosities springing up, while Alderly Edge resident and author Alan Garner has put his home in a charitable trust to stop another nouveau riche sportsman from flattening it after his death.

It’s all well and good to worry about the heritage of these villages and the aesthetic challenge of the latest in suburban architecture, but at least this new economic trend should help young people return to the area, especially paparazzi, Rooney’s grotty relatives and the finest call girls available in the north west.

[The Telegraph via Unprofessional Foul]