Nothing says “I love you” quite like a nice wedding day, in the same way that nothing says “seriously, I’m not joking, I really do ACTUALLY love you” like TWO wedding days. Just ask Premier League footballers Mr Wayne Rooney, and Ms Ashley Cole.

In the case of the former, Coleen and Wayne have decided that one poxy million dollar wedding is far too low-key for people of their social standing, so the whisper is that they’re having a big traditional “let’s get drunk and watch our families beat each other to death” wedding, closely followed by something a little more whispered and sensual on an Italian hilltop or some such. The latter promises to be far closer to the bride and groom’s sophisticated tastes - after all, Waynes favourite dinner is chips, and what better place for chips than Italy - the Kingdom of Chips.

And over on the other side of the country (ie. the bottom end), Ashley Cole has thought it reasonable to demand that his wife Cheryl Cole marries him again (according to the weekend’s People) - that way they can forget all about the time he puked whilst having sex with a barmaid, and she can get a new ring and everything. The only possible spanner in the works could be that his wife is still upset that he had sex with so many other women. But, she needs to get over it, right Ash? Christ, you’ve put it behind you. Women are so sensitive!

Is this a new fad? With no Euro 2008 to attend, can we expect to spend the summer watching England players remarry their brides over and over again? And, more importantly, who’s next back up the aisle?