As excellent evening programmes like Location, Location, Location prove beyond any reasonable doubt, moving house is an almighty bummer, and if you didn’t have people working for you - preferably a smug man in a suit, and a horsey woman who you probably ‘would’ - it would be even worse. So much red tape. And what the hell is stamp duty anyway?

Which leads usefully to Jermaine Jenas, he who has been so richly gifted with football skills, and yet is currently in the throws of a massive house move - sparking rumours that Ramos’ big summer clear-out is in the offing. For a midfielder with a good engine and an eye for goal, Jenas is making a case for being the third biggest Jermaine let-down in the country (behind first Pennant, then Defoe). There was a time when England was going to field an entire team of Jermaines, and it was going to be brilliant. What happened?

So where to next for Jenas? The North East hates him because he moaned about life in Newcastle, so will it be home to the sleepier parts of Middle England?

And on the mildly more successful side of North London, Fabregas has started tongues wagging by claiming that when he closes his hairy eyes he dreams of playing for “Arsenal, Milan, Madrid and Barca.” With two scratched off that list, might the passionate Spaniard be planning a not-too-distant-future jaunt to Italy or Madrid? Sounds like it.