Chelsea love rat given the heave via the medium of jewellery

If you watched the recent ITV2 series The Passions of Girls Aloud, you will have seen scorned WAG Cheryl Cole training to street dance for an appearance in a new video for Black Eyed Peas goon Will.I.Am.

The resulting song (rather fittingly entitled ‘Heartbreaker’) was released today. As may be expected from the man who wrote ‘My Humps’, it’s rubbish, and Cheryl only actually dances for about three seconds. But fortunately, she looks ’super hawt’, and her necklace displays a message that will bring joy to the nation:

That’s right, she’s ‘Available’. Let’s hope she sticks to her guns on this one…