People have spent thousands of years violently debating the existence of a God, and pretty much everyone has an opinion - The Spoiler’s is this: there might be a God, who wants to know?
One man certain of his own God-like status is Ashley Cole, a manchild who has spent years sitting back and observing the world revolving gently around him. A man who feels no need to question the presence of a higher force.
His twisted God - whoever it may be - has allowed him to cross football boundaries (thus committing “adultery”), attempt to destroy opponents legs unpunished (thus committing “a red card offence”), and rub his repugnant little hands all over barmaids who aren’t his wife (again, “adultery”). He was even granted permission from on high to chunder during sex before carrying on (admittedly, nothing about this in the Ten Commandments). Disgusting.
But now, it seems that the Good Lord protecting Cole from all the bad things in life has finally had enough. Cheryl, it appears, has given him his marching orders. And not a moment too soon.
A lonely visit to a petrol station has revealed that the defender no longer has any use for the important wedding ring he used to wear on his left hand, rendering rumours of reconciliation and second weddings seemingly false.
Now all he needs to do is pay a personal visit to every single football supporter on the planet to apologise for being Ashley Cole and ta-da! Suddenly human!
8 responses so far
1 daveyparkendeer // Apr 10, 2008 at 3:02 pm
SFW = SO FECKIN WHAT!!!!!!!!
It`s people like yourself giving these attention-seekers the attention they so desperately crave that allows them to behave the way they do.Stop fawning over these cruds!!!!!!!!
2 Roberval Silva // Apr 10, 2008 at 3:14 pm
This link and you will see the ring on the right hand it, in this photo you posted by the right hand is in your pocket.
link by daily star
http://www.dailystar.co.uk/posts/view/32101/Belt-up-/
3 Jason Bourne // Apr 10, 2008 at 3:23 pm
The Daily Star link where he is wearing a ring is from March 14th and the pic above is from today. Roberval, I strongly suggest you close your detective agency.
4 Wolfman Mike // Apr 10, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Hi Roberval, nice to meet you. I enjoyed your valid attempt to buck wedding trends, but as far as I know even the MOST FASHIONABLE footballers still feel traditional about wearing their wedding rings on their LEFT hand… as has been done for centuries… do you look at the world through a mirror?
5 Roberval Silva // Apr 10, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Well Jason, just posted this picture of the daily star, because as I said I had seen this picture of the ring on the right hand and the hand photo posted here is in the pocket, the more you think that was a bit ingenuous to make joke by the date of the link, even picture was worth, a board because you gave a me …. read carefully before criticizing and Wolf not discuss tradition, but only a “picture”.
Hasta la vista
6 Wolfman Mike // Apr 10, 2008 at 4:02 pm
um… what?
7 dave // Apr 12, 2008 at 1:58 pm
what the fuck are you lot going on about get a fucking life
8 the Fashion Spot - Footballers' Wives' Style // Apr 12, 2008 at 6:22 pm
[…] cheated. Holy hell, we didn