Dear Chelsea Chief Exec Peter Kenyon, saw you doing your bit for China by running with the Olympic torch the other day – thought you looked pretty cool protected by those scary Chinese guys ready to Jackie Chan the life out of any student with a problem. Anyway, how’s that plan to turn Chelsea into an international superbrand going? I’ve been asking the kids what Chelsea means to them and they’re telling me the players get right up in the coach’s face when they get substituted, which they all copy at school, of course, and they moan about money and “respect” a lot, which, to be honest,  the kids were already doing anyway. Not quite sure where all this leaves your brand-building – attitude’s not so easy to export nowadays, but let me know if you’ve got any centenaries or anything coming up. We’ve got a warehouse full of great “memorabilia”, much of it “signed”, and I love the way you guys know how to “monetise” your “fanbase”. It’s great! They’ll buy any old crap!

Headline Trends

» Chelsea have won all five league matches against Wigan.

» Wigan have won just one of seventeen away league games this season - 1-0 at Derby.

» Only Derby (16) have scored less league goals than Wigan (30).

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