Being people who breakfast doesn’t hinder The Spoiler’s progress, in fact, quite the opposite, much can be learnt from a simple trip to a local breakfasterie. Here’s what the people are saying in between sausage and eggs and slurps of finest splosh:

Emmanuel Adebayor to AC Milan or Juventus
Despite lurching around the pitch, accidentally knocking in twenty-one goals as he goes, the animated chat is that the lanky one might be more suited to the slower pace of Italian footie. Arsenal are after something a little more whippet-like for the box, apparently.

Tal Ben Haim to Tottenham
Now that he’s wept to the press, HUMILIATING his handsome manager, who would ever want Tal Ben Haim on their books? In a word, Tottenham Hotspur United.

Gabriel Heinze to Liverpool
Rafa’s ‘talks good English, but is not English’ cryptic clue has got everyone guessing, and eventually fighting. Bernd Schuster is said to be rebuilding the Madrid defence so the whisper is that Benitez intends to creep in and snaffle Heinze.

Thierry Henry to West Ham
West Ham fans are fantasising that Freddie Ljungberg could sell the club to his former team-mate, Mr. Thierry Henry. And when that fails, perhaps Mark Noble could get to work on Kaka?

Sylvan Ebanks-Blake to Aston Villa
The Manchester United trainee has scored 23 goals this season at Plymouth and Wolves, drawing comparisons with the legendary Darren Bent - the one that used to score a lot for Ipswich and Charlton, not the one lurking eerily in the changing rooms at Spurs, muttering profanities to himself.

Steve Harper to Liverpool
Could arguably the best second-choice keeper in the Premier League trade in Newcastle’s number 13 jersey to be second choice over at Liverpool?