Looks like Saturday’s man of the match is off to Spurs after all 

And this year, the prize for the most confusing Premier League player goes to Lassana Diara - well done, you can now join the hallowed ranks of Cantona, Robert - actually, just anyone French - and probably Le Saux (French surname).

The Spoiler has long since speculated that he’s simply a gap year student doing a spot of traveling, while others insist that he might actually be the biggest oversight in Arsene Wenger’s splendid managerial career, and Chelsea were equally stupid to let him go after just thirteen appearances - often using him as a right back. This summer, Abramovich, just buy one.

The plot further thickened at the weekend, when Tony Adams - now switched from booze to joss sticks - freaked everyone out by saying: “Portsmouth needs to come up to his standards, can the club do that?”

There has already been much speculation about him stepping lower down the ranks to join Spurs, with the most ardent conspiracy theorists suggesting that Tottenham only sold Jermain Defoe on the promise of a Diarra switch come the summer.

And another school of thought is that Adams just wanted to make the midfielder feel special. After all, he’s stomped out of two clubs already for not loving him enough, might Tony have just been showering him with praise, as one might with a beautiful but high maintenance wife/girlfriend/lover?

Is he just too much trouble? And, more importantly, would Spurs really be the place to calm his addled nerves?