The Spoiler
The Spoiler

Ten things you didn’t know about that strange Portsmouth maniac

May 19th, 2008 · 3 Comments

The Spoiler

Europe awaits world’s most annoying fan

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It’s a sad day for the FA Cup final when all the cameramen are more interested in that astonishing looking idiot in the stands, dressed like a monster, leaping up and down. The Spoiler thought it wise to delve a little bit deeper and find out just who this moron is…

1. His full name is John Portsmouth Football Club Westwood – he added the Portsmouth FC back in 1994 by deed poll.

2. John is a 47-year-old divorced father-of-two, and was chosen to be one of the featured people in the BBC’s “One Nation” series.

3. John has a ridiculous sixty Portsmouth tattoos on his body, the club crest shaved on to his head and ‘PFC’ engraved on his teeth.

4. John has travelled to every Portsmouth home and away game in the last twenty-four years.

5. Poor old John wasn’t allowed to bring his bell into the FA Cup Final this year due to strict Wembley guidelines.

6. He has his own appreciation group on facebook. However with only ninety-eight members, perhaps he isn’t as popular as one would imagine.

7. John now runs his father’s bookshop in Petersfield, Hampshire, which specialises in selling antiquarian and second-hand books.

8. John’s father, Frank, employed a female assistant at his book shop - famous rugby streaker, Erica Roe.

9. His brother is the Queen’s paper conservator at Windsor Castle.

10. Some fans affectionately call him ‘that cunt with the bell’.

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Posted: May 19th, 2008 by Josh Burt



3 responses so far

  • 1 Squee // May 19, 2008 at 1:08 pm

    First up nice re-hash of the Westwood article in Saturday’s Daily Mail. Good thing you boys aren’t bothered by a thing called plagiarism…

    Secondly, I can only assume that this was written by a supporter of one of those ‘fashionable’ clubs whose fans are a bunch of boring bastards whose sole and only concern is winning titles. Surely Westwood’s passion for a club that until now has won sweet FA (get it!!) derserves some respect.

    Squee

  • 2 RedbyDawn // May 20, 2008 at 8:20 am

    Agreed. He ‘derserves ‘ our respect.

    Nice one.

    By the way, is there anyone who uses the term, ‘fashionable’ regarding football teams who isn’t an absolute yokel?

  • 3 SF Spur // May 20, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    Best thing about new Wembley: Their No Bell Policy

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