Big moany Mr Moaner moans

Of course, no one dared mention it, but it was only a matter of time before one of the Euro 2008 keepers burst out of the closet shouting wildly about how the new tournament ball is just awful.

So, congratulations must go to Italy’s number two keeper, Marco Amelia, who insists that the new Addidas ball - catchily known as Europass - is damn near unmanageable. So erratic that he can’t even bring himself to catch the thing, preferring to punch it away, arms flapping like a toddler attempting to fly.

Has a complaint ever been so predictable? And how great would it be to have David James flailing around at corners this year?