Lahm’s lady isn’t in Ballack’s good books

If Captain Serious Michael Ballack gets his way, German WAGs will be rushed back over the border to their homeland quicker than you can say “du werdest einer Krankenschwester brauchen.” Ballack’s proposed WAG ban is bad news for the likes of Nicola Valentina, who may not be able to see her Bayern Munich defender boyfriend Philipp Lahm until the end of the tournament.

Nicola is 28 years old, and despite her Spanish origin, can regularly be seen at games wearing the kind of patriotic garments and accessories that would go against most other WAGs’ strict fashion codes of convention.

Prior to her arrival on the WAG scene, Philipp had girlfriends named Nevana and Mary. Such a shame - think of the mileage the tabloids could have got from ‘Mary had a little Lahm.’

Spoiler bonus: Enjoy this slideshow of the happy couple set to some middle-of-the-road radio rock…

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