Today’s alliterated movers and shakers in the world of soccerball

The papers believe Frank Lampard is one step closer to the European fashion capital because Jose Mourinho has taken five days off his holiday to broker the deal. Yes, that’s a full five days he’s missing from his year-long vacation, so you know he means business.

Cristiano Ronaldo latest
Sir Alex Ferguson’s threat to let Ronaldo rot in the reserves is threatened by a FIFA ruling allowing players to rip up their contracts if they don’t play in 10% of matches. We doubt Fergie will be too scared: he could just play him in the Community Shield, League Cup, a nothing Champions League group game and against Hull and Stoke.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Another stupid FIFA rule that will have little effect on the deal

Italian football to accept Adebayor defeat
AC Milan no longer believe they have a divine right to any Premier League player they want and will give up pursuit of Adebayor after Arsenal rejected an offer. Real Madrid may wish to take note. Dick Advocaat’s announcement that Andrei Arshavin will move to Spain or England won’t do much good for Italy’s ego either.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Kudos to Milan if true

Aaron Lennon to Newcastle
So let’s get this straight. After a massive losing streak, King Kev stumbled on a winning formula that involved dropping the wingers and playing 4-3-3. So who are Newcastle going to sign this summer? Spurs winger Lennon of course.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Surely not

Liverpool’s new targets
We were never buying the rumours of English players like Milner, Bentley and Downing coming to Anfield, and so were not surprised to hear that Barry is more likely to be joined by David Villa, David Silva and Daniel Alves next season.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Normal business resumed

Heurelho Gomes or Emiliano Viviano to Tottenham
It was eight months ago that Juande Ramos took over at White Hart Lane and decided he wanted shot of Paul Robinson, but still he can’t get someone in to replace him. He’ll take Scott Carson if he has to wait any longer.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: At least one new keeper must arrive, so why not one of these?