Two girls, one cup… well, plate

Wow, what a Wimbledon! Who would ever have imagined that Federer would face Nadal in the men’s final? Or that the Williams sisters might meet in the women’s? That’s right, only every single human being on the planet. Even people who have never heard of tennis. That said, there were a couple of minor shocks - the kind one might get from accidentally taking an electric heater into the bath, or popping an index finger into a plug socket.

Two of those surprises took the form of Ivanovic and Sharapova (both pictured below).

They were supposed to make it to at least the semis, and all the big talk was about how Maria had got her groove back. She hadn’t, but she still looks fantabulous in a microcosmic bikini. Ivanovic, too, wins a sexy prize for being one of the most sensual players on the circuit.

As for the winners, both have been sculpted from the lord’s own hand, and are so taut and muscular that you could bounce cricket balls off them. That could only ever be a good thing. Congratulations the Williams sisters. Great Wimbledon.