If in doubt, use the tongue

As anyone who has ever lingered in a changing room after a football match already knows, the conversations are pretty racy. You start with a rundown of the game, then before you know it you’re exchanging sex tips and doing that thing with your towel where you whip naked men in a totally non-gay way. Pictured above is Jens Lehmann putting into action one of the priceless sex tips he picked up at the Arsenal. Probably from Henry or Ljungberg.

“Seriously, just show her your tongue, Jens - works every time.”