Tomorrow’s headlines today…

For those who care about Big Brother, Mikey the blind man who likes smearing food on his face is now the one to beat. And for those for whom that last sentence made absolutely no sense, here’s some football news from the future…

Capello tells England striker to stop being so fat
while Dean Ashton might look lean and mean by English standards, were he to travel to sunny Italy, he’d be considered a blob. “I spoke with him (Ashton) in Trinidad and I told him he had to lose weight and be better physically because technically he is good but he is not quick,” honked Fabio Capello. But to ensure that he didn’t completely crush the ugly, balding and overweight striker’s confidence, he added:  “We followed Dean in a lot of games last season and he was very good.”

Man United rejected by Silva
Sir Alex Ferguson’s hunt for potent attackers to link up with his squad, already brimming with potent attackers, led him to Spain’s David Silva. The Spaniard took one look at the prospect of a gorgeous Manchester winter and insited that it’s Spain or nothing for him. Fair enough really.