Is this the best team in the Premier League?
Make no mistake, friends, the ‘Big Four’ are so-called because they’re brilliant. So brilliant that were you to merge them all together to create a “best of” team, some huge names would fall by the wayside. We are, of course, referring to the likes of Craig Lindfield, Andriy Voronin, Justin Hoyte, Darren Fletcher, Shaun Wright-Phillips. Just some of the football legends who didn’t make the cut.
GK Petr Cech (Chelsea)
No longer the best in the world, not even the best in Premier League - Friedel, James and Given are better. But he is the strongest in the top four, despite a horrendous Euro 2008. Should his terrible run of luck with facial injuries continue, he should end the season playing in a humiliating gimp mask.
DL Patrice Evra (Man United)
After an appalling debut (losing 3-1 to Man City, coming off at half time), Evra suddenly morphed into a fantastic player. Some might argue that Cole or Clichy are more deserving of the spot, but they’re wrong. Cole would bring the whole dressing room down with his awful personality, and Clichy is behind Evra in the France pecking order.
DC Rio Ferdinand (Man United)
It’s easy to forget that underneath the silly record labels, the totally pointless “merking” and the strange skew-whiff mouth, Rio Ferdinand is just a man, standing in front of you, asking you to tell him he’s brilliant at football. Don’t worry, Rio, you are. In fact, you’re our cap-i-tan.
DC Ricardo Carvalho (Chelsea)
Don’t be fooled by all the crazies at Chelsea who think John Terry is God, the real star of their back line is this foreign guy from Portugal. A calm head, his traditional short-back-and-sides would perfectly balance out whatever bizarre hair-don’t Ferds has decided to sport this season.
DR Bacary Sagna (Arsenal)
Talking of zany haircuts, this young right back with blonde braids is the best in the league. Swift and reliable, he elbows Gary Neville out of contention with ease.
ML Ryan Babel (Liverpool)
Giggs is way past his best, Joe Cole is a little bit too slow for the flanks, so it was always going to be between Babel and Nani for the slot on the left. Both look set to enjoy big second seasons, but Nani is the most likely to be overshadowed by his colleagues.
MC Steven Gerrard (Liverpool)
Impossible to leave out, he is the midfield equivalent of Zeus.
MC Cesc Fabregas (Arsenal)
Whether he could play alongside Gerrard will never be known, but the Spaniard beats Lampard, Deco, Ballack, Scholes, Hargreaves and Mascherano to the spot. He was absolutely excellent at the Euros, despite mainly starting on the bench.
MR Cristiano Ronaldo (Man United)
What can you say about the man who has got everything? Nothing. Strolls in.
FC Carlos Tevez (Man United)
With Drogba completely incapable of playing alongside anyone else, Tevez keeps Rooney, Van Persie and Adebayor out of the side. It was a close one between the Tevster and Rooney, but the handsome Argentinean scrapes it for being ever-so-slightly better at playing football.
FC Fernando Torres (Liverpool)
Everyone bangs on about how you need to give foreign players at least a year to settle in and get used to life in English football. With 24 goals from 33 matches in his first season, Torres has probably settled in. Just.
Manager Sir Alex Ferguson (Man United)
Loathe him or hate him, there are none better.
19 responses so far
1 john kettley // Aug 13, 2008 at 11:26 am
skew-whiff surely
2 Bill // Aug 13, 2008 at 11:29 am
Idiot
3 LPOOL FAN // Aug 13, 2008 at 11:31 am
Why does everyone overlook Pepe Reina! he is one of the best keepers around! kept the most clean sheets for the last 3 or 4 seasons
4 Josh Burt // Aug 13, 2008 at 11:32 am
Much appreciated John, I have taken your advice on that one…
5 Dipesh // Aug 13, 2008 at 11:35 am
What the heck are you on mate? Cech above Reina? 3 golden gloves awards in a row…. I know who will be in my dreamteam by far!!
6 john.wayne // Aug 13, 2008 at 11:36 am
Theres a van full of angry antelopes turned up outside my workplace, i think they may be here as the packet of magic stars declared war on a bottle of powerade. would anybody know what to do in this situation ?
7 LFCGlobe // Aug 13, 2008 at 11:56 am
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Check it out now!
8 Gerrard Forever // Aug 13, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Wow, LFCGlobe is good !! My fave! :)
9 john.wayne // Aug 13, 2008 at 12:36 pm
PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP. THEYRE CLOSING IN, I CANT HOLD THEM BACK MUCH LONGER
10 john.wayne // Aug 13, 2008 at 12:37 pm
AND WHY THE HELL ISNT JAAP STAM IN THIS TEAM ?
11 Man Utd fan // Aug 13, 2008 at 1:19 pm
there should be Agger or Skrtel above Carvalho and how could there be P.Cech above VanDerSar or Reina who had more clean sheets than any GK in premierleague inm 3 years..!!???(Reina)
Reina
Sagna Ferdinand Agger Evra
Ronaldo Fabregas Gerrard Babel
Tevez Torres
Manager:Sir Alex Ferguson.
12 Matt // Aug 13, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I love Liverpool and Babel will be top class one day, but no way, not now.
13 Eastwood // Aug 13, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Babel - are you insane writer. Joe Cole or Walcott surely
14 RedMist // Aug 13, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Where’s Eboue?
15 Adz // Aug 14, 2008 at 5:30 am
Rosicky?
16 LOL! // Aug 14, 2008 at 7:09 am
“kept the most clean sheets for the last 3 or 4 seasons”
straight up lie. It’s Cech who’s kept the most 1025 mins without conceding.
Man Utd fan, well he’s not. Which Manchester fan would name 3 LIVERPOOL players??
17 RedbyDawn // Aug 14, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Rooney is better than Tevez. You are a bellend.
18 Rooveztov // Aug 14, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Adz why would anyone add Rosicky, when the man has been injured for far too long to even be named on the bench.
19 NinjaSkrtel // Aug 15, 2008 at 11:55 am
mascherano is the best holding player in the world.carra has been the most consistently outstanding centre half in the prem in the last 5 years.