Tomorrow’s headlines today…

Well, it’s finally happened, someone stumbled across a massive pile of bones and decided it was Bigfoot. Naturally, no one else has actually seen the remains, so we’ll just have to take their word for it. In the same way that you must trust The Spoiler when we tell you that we saw The Loch Ness Monster once. Honestly, it was huge. That’s how we knew what it was. Anyway, cynicism aside, here’s some of the weekend’s news in advance…

People power reigns supreme on Merseyside
All hell broke loose when Liverpool fans discovered that sponsors Carlsberg were planning on launching a special offer with The Sun whereby readers could claim a free pint - many fans, of course, still refuse to forgive the paper for their inaccurate reporting of the Hillsborough disaster. Hence, Carlsberg decided to pull out of the deal. So that’s Liverpool Fans 1, Thirsty Sun Readers 0.

Piz is off
Claudio Pizarro has left Chelsea on loan, but decided to challenge for a title with Werder Bremen rather than struggle to avoid relegation with Stoke or Hull. Of course, when Chelsea let anyone leave on loan, it’s code for “just go”.