Michael Bolton, Fabricio Coloccini

For weeks/months/years The Spoiler has been praying night after night for an excuse to shoehorn the great Michael Bolton onto the site. So thank Christ for the big fat men in suits at Newcastle who have done a tremendous bit of business by landing Argentina defender Fabriccio Coloccini, who looks ever so slightly like the iconic singer. In fact, if you study the above picture closely it becomes almost impossible to tell them apart. Their hair is just so damn similar.

Hilarious.

After the jump, Michael Bolton sings Can I Touch You There - an ode to exactly what you think it’s about…