The whisper from today’s knitting circles…

Peter Kenyon triumphantly told everyone that Robinho would arrive within 48 hours on Wednesday and Frank Lampard told the press that the Brazilian was “fantastic”, but then a couple of Real Madrid targets - Valencia’s David Villa and Villarreal’s Santi Cozorla – decided to stay put, so now it looks like the light-footed winger will be zooming down the wings in sunny Spain after all. Joe Cole - permission to stop sweating.

Henrik Larsson to Tottenham
Andrei Arshavin has conceded there is little chance of him moving to Spurs this summer, which leaves the North London club searching through the thousandth page of their striker shortlist. Henrik Larsson is today’s target, but Everton are also interested.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: He’s 37 next month, but Spurs can’t afford to be too picky right now.

James Milner to Everton
Managers complain that English players are so expensive, but when managers like David Moyes are willing to pay £10 million for a winger who has never played for England, and who has scored just 14 goals in 175 league appearances, is it really any surprise?

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: A good player but is he really worth eight figures? Nope.

Walter Pandiani to West Ham
Hammers fans have been panicking about the fact that Dean Ashton, Craig Bellamy and Carlton Cole are all being linked with moves away but there’s no need to worry any more. 32-year-old Pandiani, who scored seven goals for Birmingham a few years back, is on his way. Excellent.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: The fans will probably just be relieved to hear someone may join the club.