Arab owner happy to pay any amount for 32-year-old striker

According to Spanish rag Marca, one of the gazillion forwards on Dr Sulaiman Al-Fahim’s wishlist was Ruud van Nistelrooy. Before closing the Brazilian man-o’-sex deal, City representatives asked how much the Dutchman would cost, but were told by Los Blancos that he was definitely not for sale. The Manchester club, evidently drunk on their newfound wealth, responded by offering a cheque on which Ramon Calderon and co could put an amount they considered appropriate. Madrid still said no, but the temptation to charge £100bn must have been mighty tempting…