Berbs finally scores, Arsenal get over Hull misery

Porto may have won the Champions League four years ago when a certain Mr Mourinho was calling the shots, but last night they appeared far too distracted by Robin van Persie’s 14-year-old French exchange student haircut, as he and Emmanuel Adebayor sunk them 4-0.

Meanwhile, over in Denmark, Aalborg’s ropey defending was punished by a stroppy Bulgarian man, who managed to bag his first goals for United.