Joe Kinnear still ‘keeping the seat warm’ for Geordie Messiah

Press reports today are saying that Kevin Keegan has met with three separate consortiums (consortia?) bidding to take Newcastle Utd away from the evil cockney mafia, all of whom are interested in re-installing him as boss.

A South African group are waiting to have £280m in staged payments accepted, while the Nigerians have offered to put £200m upfront. There is also a third unnamed consortium, who could possibly be the group of Brits currently sniffing around White Hart Lane.

A completely made-up source friend of Keegan’s told The Sun:

“Kevin’s return as manager is a key issue for some of the bidders.

“They want Kevin to be back in charge otherwise they might not continue their interest.”

KK’s return to St James’ Park might not be as smooth as the report suggests, however, as he will not drop the ongoing £8m constructive dismissal battle with the club.