Hansen and Lawrenson “work rate” hits an all-time low

Match of the Day 2 received a couple of unwelcome visitors last night when a six-fixture Sunday meant BBC super-pundits Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson were forced to interrupt their golf schedule in preparation for spending the evening on the MOTD 2 sofas instead.

Adrian Chiles has done an excellent job of turning MOTD 2 into a brighter, cleverer and more informative spin-off, largely thanks to Lee Dixon’s critical input and an imaginative guest rotation policy. Hansen and Lawrenson, possibly fed up at being unable to adopt their customary lolling posture, given the more modern design of the Sunday seating, turned in one of their more surly performances. Indeed, Lawrenson was even caught on camera studying his shoe at one point. You’d find a greater sense of purpose in a dentist’s waiting room.

Hansen at least sprayed a few opinions around, though rarely bothered to back them up. On the newly-announced England squad, the great Scot was disgusted that there was no room for Michael Owen. Apart from Wayne Rooney (announced Hansen in his most withering tone) Michael Owen was a better player than Fabio Capello’s other three forward choices (Heskey, Defoe and Crouch.) How better, Alan? Better in the air? Better at holding the ball up? Better in partnership with Rooney? Hansen may of course be right, but these points need evidence in their support. Advancing them as fact is of little use to anyone. What are “the youngsters” meant to think?

Hansen even had the brass neck to advocate an England line up with Lampard in the centre and Gerrard on the right. Not only are England fans becoming cobwebbed from staring at that experiment and waiting for it to work, where does that leave poor Theo Walcott and his hatful of goals? Explain yourself, Alan. And Adrian Chiles, why didn’t you challenge this reactionary assertion? England fans are working through thick notebooks this week trying to concoct a line up for Saturday and many are probably stumped by the riddle of Frank and Stevie - do BBC rules forbid presenters from confronting Hansen and Lawrenson on their own arguments?

For those who missed Alan Shearer’s efforts to guide the flagship Saturday MOTD a little further beneath the waves, the other Geordie messiah had a go on the circles machine on Saturday. In his weekly quest to state the obvious, he used it to identify attacking Manchester United players. Next week perhaps he’ll show us which one’s the goalkeeper.