Bit of an understatement there, Gary.

Ladies match turns into mud wrestling battle (without the mud)

BYU’s Kassidy Shumway and Elizabeth Lambert (the dirty one) of New Mexico get the undercard for Haye vs Valuev started early.

Premier League champs overtake Real Madrid…

Manchester United and Arsenal are the only English clubs to make the top 10 of a list of Europe’s 50 best supported clubs. The rankings, based on last season’s average attendance, are still dominated by German clubs - nine made the top 20.

See the full list after the jump…

Spanish press claim striker may not be back until December…

Diagnosis of Fernando Torres‘ recent trip to Spain, for a second opinion on his groin injury, proved fairly inconclusive in the English press this morning. The Spanish media, however, are confident the striker will be out until after Liverpool’s crucial Champions League clash with Debrecen.

According to AS, Torres hopped on a private jet to see Dr Ramon Cugat, a respected sports injury specialist, after medical staff at Liverpool’s Melwood training ground claimed surgery - which Benitez is desperate to avoid - was the only solution. Cugat is reported to have prescribed a ‘conservative treatment’ which will mean El Nino is laid up until the Reds’ game against Blackburn on December 5th.

Spoiler Bonus: El Mundo Deportivo are reporting a gentleman’s agreement is in place for Robinho to sign for Barcelona in the January transfer window now both the Man City chairman and Mark Hughes (who allegedly ‘has always been receptive to his departure’) are resigned to losing the Brazilian forward.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Sven stars in a Kleenex ad

Reminiscing on the Championship/Football Manager series
[Guardian]

Arsenal scouts hid in trees to get a look at Vermaelen
[Off The Post]

Football’s greatest bearded footballers
[Interestment]

Patrick Vieira (not even the best midfielder on Inter’s bench) demands to be recognised as the best midfielder in France
[Goal.com]

Arsenal weighing up an £18m punt on winger Milos Krasic
[Caught Offside]

1 in 20 British schoolkids think Adolf Hitler was a football manager
[The Sun]

She’ll be at West Ham/Everton on Sunday, get it moving…

Being a game sort of girl, big-chested faux-lesbian Katy Perry rocked up to last night’s MTV Europe Video Awards in this claret and blue ensemble, after a dare from her Hammers supporting boyfriend Russell Brand:

Wow. Now MY GIRLFRIEND has worn a West Ham basque while hosting the EMA’s. What a day! I might revive Gandhi and ask if he wants to be mates.

Yes I will be taking her to a game – West Ham Vs Everton. And, before it begins, no I won’t be taking her up the Arsenal. x

Hopefully this will give the West Ham board a bit of inspiration for their next replica shirt advertising campaign, after this summer’s nightmare-inducing Ray Winstone effort.

[spotted on Dirty Tackle]

English clubs get the bitter taste of defeat in Europe…

Roma 2/ Fulham 1
Fulham lead the game for 50 mins after being put 1-0 up through a Diomansy Kamara penalty. John Arne Riise arrowed in a shot (deflected off of his younger brother, Bjorn Helge) to restore parity before Stefano Okaka Chuka completed the reversal 15 minutes from time. Fulham need to win both their remaining games (CSKA Sofia at home, FC Basel away) to stand a chance of getting through the knockout rounds.

Everton 0/ Benfica 2

The Toffees were once again well and truly served by Benfica, two weeks after their 5-0 humping in Portugal. Former massively-disappointing-Argentine Javier Saviola and the free scoring Oscar Cardozo racked up a goal a piece, leaving Everton second in Group I, three points behind the leaders. A win against AEK Athens next month will see Moyes’ men through comfortably.

Expect a megayacht-load of new faces rocking up at the Bridge…

The Court of Arbitration for Sport have temporarily suspended Chelsea’s FIFA-imposed two-window transfer ban, leaving the Blues free to sign players until a final decision has been made over their appeal:

The FIFA Dispute Resolution Chamber imposed, inter alia, a restriction of four months’ ineligibility on Mr Gael Kakuta, and Chelsea Football Club Ltd was banned from registering any new players, either nationally or internationally, for the next two complete, consecutive registration periods. Such sanctions are now stayed until the CAS renders its final decision in this matter.

Despite this (unsurprising) bit of good fortune, the success of Chelsea’s appeal isn’t guaranteed - there’ll almost certainly be a stockpiling of players in the January transfer window, especially if Ron Gourlay wants two Champions League trophies in the next five years.

So who should be top of the shopping list? Sergio Aguero? Angel di Maria? Frank Ribery?