Say hello to your worst nightmare

Ever since the phrase “I wouldn’t like to meet him in a dark alley” was coined by an elderly Welsh woman scraping sludge off a rock, The Spoiler has been curious to know who might possibly be the worst person to meet in that situation. So how fitting that these pictures of Alan Pardew casually strolling through a river of post-pub urine and past some bins showed up in our PO Box this morning. That’s that mystery solved.

We like to presume that Arsene Wenger is lurking in the nearby shadows, readying himself to unleash some over-the-top karate moves on his former nemesis.