“Just do what you do, week in, week out”

The cracks are starting to appear. He might have a stern craggy face that you could race ants around and the “don’t mess with me, man” attitude, but if you look really closely, Fabio Capello mightn’t be a million miles away in kind from moon-faced McClaren and his goons.

We all know that McClaren was from the “just do what you do, week in, week out” school of football management - which, essentially, is not coaching, it’s like telling an artist to “just paint or something” - and, terrifyingly, it appears that Capello is cut from exactly the same cloth.

“Fabio speaks with me before each game and says he wants me to emulate my Liverpool form,” said Steven Gerrard in yesterday’s press conference, “that’s also what I want, but it’s not happening.”

Translated from Italian, that’s: “just do what you do, week in, week out.”

Nooooooooo!