Would you rather share a shower with 10 men, or this woman?

That was the question facing Rafael van der Vaart, back in the days when he was playing for Hamburg in Germany. No prizes for guessing which option Rafael chose.

Former Hamburg manager Huub Stevens has revealed in his autobiography that Van der Vaart once deliberately got booked so he could go and party with his lovely missus, Sylvie. Fair enough - just look at her.

Before Hamburg’s game at home to Duisburg last season, Stevens said to his assistant: “Van der Vaart will deliberately pick up a fifth yellow card. His wife is celebrating her 30th birthday and he wants to be there.”

Stevens was proved right. Van der Vaart was booked for kicking the ball away after the ref had blown his whistle. Job done.

Three days later the team played Hertha in Berlin – without the suspended Rafael, who was busy drinking champagne at his wife’s party.

Spoiler bonus! A free Sylvie van der Vaart YouTube clip…