Economic downturn takes its toll on Chelsea owner

Back in April, Roman Abramovich was declared Britain’s second richest man thanks to his £11.7bn fortune. The morning’s Sun, however, reports that the Russian businessman is “down to his last £7bn,” which is less dramatic terms means that he has lost around £4.7bn.

Abramovich has been forced to cut costs, and fortunately for Frank Lampard’s bank manager, he was started trimming the fat by suspending pay and Christmas bonuses for the staff of his £72m superyacht:

“Last night angry crew members branded him Scrooge-ski for ordering the cutbacks - while still paying stars like Blues idol Frank Lampard £150,000-a-week.One said: “If he sold just one player, the savings from their wages would give us a good Christmas and a New Year rise with lots to spare.

“Bosses point out he’s a good employer and deserves loyalty during the downturn, but his footballers have been left untouched. It’s people on modest pay making sacrifices not the stars with their huge mansions.”

It’s depressing for Chelsea fans to think that their January transfer budgets will almost certainly be floating somewhere around the ‘zero’ mark, but it’s even more depressing to hear The Sun’s piss poor nickname for the billionaire. “Scrooge-ski”? Now the kids have broken up for the holidays are they writing the puns or something?