Mrs Beckham fears husband is addicted to ink

Presumably after having spent enough time with the wife and kids this Christmas, David Beckham went off to see his old friend Louis Malloy, the Mancunian artist responsible for most of the decorations on the MLS/ Serie A star’s skin.

Mr B’s new tattoo is written in Hebrew (a wise choice seeing that the Hindi etching of “Victoria” on his arm is misspelled), and reads: “My son, do not forget my teaching but keep my commands in your heart.”

Posh Spice, who has more tattoos than a nineteenth century sailor, is apparently worried that her husband is addicted to getting ink done, and wants him to leave some skin unmarked. She probably didn’t feel the same way, however, when he had a naked robo-spice tribute forever drawn onto his forearm…