Man with sexy fiancée is packing his bags, say Spanish press

While the British press believe Real Madrid are all set to fill their right wing void with Wigan’s Luis Valencia, the Spanish are reporting that Los Merengues have already made a move for Jermaine Pennant.

According to Sport, Manager Juande Ramos couldn’t be less interested in the Liverpool star, but new sporting director Predrag Mijatović has already agreed a £3m deal.

Mijatović is currently in the doghouse for signing Lassana Diarra and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, as only one of them is eligible to play in the Champions League (under some fangled UEFA laws, a team can only play one new player who has already in a European competition for another side). Due to their utterly shit league form and embarassing Copa del Rey exit, Madrid’s only chance of winning something is the Champions League, and this transfer mistake could prove costly.