Striker is officially on his way back to the Lane

Much like a Mountie, Harry Redknapp has finally got his man and secured the signature of Jermain Defoe.

The deal is thought to be worth around £15m, around £3m more than Harry paid when he brought the 26-year-old to Fratton Park in 2007. The actual amount will paid will depend on wranglings over fees for Younes Kaboul and Pedro Mendes, and a £4m sell-on clause that Tottenham negotiated when he originally moved to Portsmouth. Quite understandably, Pompey do not believe that Spurs are entitled their own sell on payment if he rejoins the north Londoners.

The fees owed for Kaboul and Mendes are said to be around £11.5m, so if Spurs do receive their sell-on clause, Defoe will come back to Spurs for next to nothing. That’s some shrewd accounting, Mr Levy.

Elsewhere, Chinawhite and Faces nightclub owners are reportedly delighted that their best customer is back in town, while a slew of London’s least scrupulous glamour models are said to be lining up their skimpiest clubbing outfits, despite the freezing weather.