We celebrate the best reason to stay in on Saturday afternoon

“The only bad thing about going to support your team on Saturday is that you miss Jeff Stelling,” says one loyal member of the latter day Church of Soccer Saturday. In tribute to the man who once suggested fans would be “dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight,” we have lovingly compiled his best moments.

And no, none of them are from Countdown…

1. The J man dances with a singing James Brown toy as a player with the same name scores for his beloved Hartlepool. An encore ensues minutes later when he scores again. This is the same Hartlepool FC who have a monkey as a mascot. A monkey who also happens to be the Mayor of Hartlepool. Life is wonderful.

2. Jeff’s legendary rant rant explaining why Middlesbrough - which had been voted the Worst Place to Live in England - is in fact a very nice area. His tirade gets broken up by an ad break but he continues when the programme resumes only stopping when a goal is scored. We are used to his encyclopaedic football knowledge, but knowing the exact date of birth and birth address of the late Brian Clough is impressive, if not a tad peculiar.

3. At [2.28], Stelling provides us an accurate impression of pundit Steve Gooding in this Soccer Saturday compilation. Another golden moment comes at [1.35], when he interviews Sam Allardyce as he gets soaked by sprinklers.

4. Another passionate rant by the Sky Sports man, this time focusing on the Olympics.

5. Another James Brown goal, another ‘I Feel Good’ celebration. Without the James Brown doll to kick off the singing, Stelling is joined by the other Soccer Saturday pundits in a merry sing song.

6. ‘Stellas’ gets ready to introduce Harry ‘Red-knob’.

7. Jeff does his best to make us aware of bowls.

8. Fed up of reporting football results, Jeffrey decides to instead use his Sky Sports hosting platform to plea to the public about a theft.

9. A classic Stelling one-liner, and further proof the Soccer Saturday presenter can do no wrong. Just imagine Adrian Chiles painfully coming out with the same joke…

10. A compilation of great one-liners including reporting on goals from his favourite players Kenny ‘The good doctor’ Deuchar and Kevin ‘Sally will be happy’ Webster. Also look out for the Monty Python sketch impression.

Spoiler bonus video: Getting corrected by Paul Merson? Surely the lowest point inhis career…

[Research: Danny Harris]