Great with bikinis, not so great with assault courses

Those Spoiler readers who chose to spend their Saturday evening watching BBC1’s game show Total Wipeout will already be acquainted with Helena Fletcher and her puzzling lack of coordination. The blonde model took so many hits that she believed she had burst her enormous 32E breast implants. Even though her chest survived, she is now planning to trade them in for an F cup. The greatest beneficiary of this decision will undoubtedly be Michael McIndoe, her rather lucky Bristol City midfielder boyf.

25-year-old Helena is also on the books of a celebrity impersonator agency. Unfortunately, it appears she bears no resemblance to a famous person, and is listed as “Promotional staff”. Glamorous.

Spoiler bonus: If you missed it yesterday, relive Helena’s majestic navigation of the Total Wipeout assault course…

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