Don’t all rush at once to sign up for Championship football

Good news, Spurs fans! According to your official club website, season ticket prices will be frozen for the next two years, and the reduced VAT rate saving will also be passed on to supporters.

The club say the uncharacteristic generosity is down to their “acute awareness of the current economic climate,” and they wish to keep White Hart Lane full during these hard times.

Wait a minute - surely the big-spending club needs all the revenue it can get at the moment? Could it be that the price freezes and two-year season ticket packages are a way of ensuring continued revenues in the event of an impromptu exit from the Premier League?

No, of course not! Bad, cynical Spoiler! Tottenham just want to thank the loyal fans who are already being outrageously overcharged…