Probable line-ups, statistics and the latest betting odds

The nation’s least favourite cup competition will reach it’s heady conclusion on Sunday afternoon, when Tottenham will try not to lose their Carling Cup title to Manchester Utd.

If you’re betting on the game, you’re interested in statistics or you just like bright colours and fancy flash graphics, then please check out the Carling Cup Final Wizard we produced with Betfair.

West Ham reject is shocked he can’t get into the Real Madrid team

Julien Faubert has only been with Real Madrid for five minutes but he is already complaining to the French press that Juande Ramos is not playing him enough. The Spoiler can only assume that despite not being able to break into the West Ham team, the Frenchman expected to walk straight into the Spanish champions’ starting eleven.

The winger had previously complained to his native media that he was “suffering mentally” in his final days at West Ham and it appears that his “suffering” has continued in Madrid, with Faubert suggesting to L’Equipe that Ramos doesn’t like him.

The former Spurs boss responded by claiming that Faubert has spent ten days out injured. That suggestion has been greeted with scepticism though because no mention of this “injury” had been made before and there is no confirmation in Real Madrid’s medical records.

Finally, Clarets fan can support their team while rutting 

People who like Burnley FC and lovemaking are in for a real treat this weekend, as the club will be giving away free condoms as part of a drive to encourage a responsible attitude to sex.

These are no ordinary condoms, however, they are official Burnley-branded condoms. The Burnley official site does not say if the claret sheaths will have Owen Coyle’s face on them, but it does say:

“Due to the reported rise in STIs, there needs to be a radical and creative approach to ‘normalising’ condom use and we hope that as well as seeing the fun side, supporters will recognise the serious message behind using Burnley FC-branded condoms.”

There are just two conditions for receiving the freebies - fans must be under 25 (presumably the over 25s don’t have sex in Lancashire) and they must complete a chlamydia screening.

The incident looked a little something like this…

Thousands of West Ham fans travelled to the north east on Wednesday to see their side get battered by Middlesbrough in a half empty stadium. Understandably, the performance left many fans unhappy, but some took the defeat a lot worse than others.

A dejected Spoiler reader tells us he was leaving the Riverside Stadium when some aggravation between rival supporters threatened to break out. Police on horses stepped in to calm the situation, but this inflamed the temper of one West Ham fan, who proceeded to land a right hook in the the face of one unsuspecting horse.

“It was quite shocking,” said the witness.

‘Ballers get involved in a little import/export

Spanish cocaine lovers will be devastated to hear that 600kg of the white stuff has been seized by police, in a smuggling ring that is said to involve many stars from the world of football.

Eleven people have been arrested, including two recruiting agents and several current and former professional footballers. The Spanish press allege one of the naughty substance gang is a former Atletico Madrid star, and another is a former manager of a French first division team.

BBC News reports:

The Spanish authorities believe the suspects were using their football connections as a cover for drugs trafficking.

The police found the cocaine hidden in packets among machine parts for wind farms inside a shipping container in Madrid.

The drugs had been transported to Spain by boat from Argentina.

The authorities alleged the agents organised this smuggling operation while on a trip to Latin America recruiting professional footballers.

Following the arrests, FIFA have said they “strongly condemned any criminal activities which may be, even if indirectly, associated to football.”

Despite Adrian Mutu’s best efforts, Spain consumes more cocaine than any other European nation.

A tip of the hat to Daryl at The Offside for pointing our noses in the direction

Man Utd/Spurs, Sunday, 3pm, Sky Sports 1, Free £10 bet

We’re not suggesting for a second that you spend your whole month’s wages betting on a Tottenham triumph at Wembley on Sunday, but here are five reasons why a Manchester United victory isn’t inevitable, thanks to our friends at chickendinner:

1. Tottenham have a brilliant record against the Big Four and have only lost one of their seven meetings with them this season - the 2-1 FA Cup loss to Manchester United when they played their “mish-mash” side.

2. And Spurs have already got past the other three Big Four sides in this competition over the last fourteen months - beating Arsenal in last season’s semi-finals, Chelsea in the final and Liverpool in this year’s fourth round.

3. Both sides have contested six

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“The surgically enhanced serial bedmate-to-the-stars”

Alicia Douvall was inducted into the world of waggery in 2000, when she started going out with Dwight Yorke (”I didn’t even know who he was. I just wanted someone to look after me and my daughter”). The glamour model was devastated when he cheated on her with fierce rival Jordan, and has since enjoyed “relationships (read:”shameless kiss-and-tells”) with Calum Best, Dennis Rodman, Dean Gaffney, Lee Ryan, and Mick Hucknall.