The very latest scurrilous deadline day rumours…

Three hours to go in the transfer window and no ridiculous Manchester City rumours? Come one Garry Cook, pull your finger out!

Tottenham have been linked to Marco Materazzi and Adriano in the last few weeks, but Sky Sports News say the north Londoners are about to swap Jermaine Jenas for Inter’s Portuguese winger Ricardo Quaresma. Harry’s least favourite person with the name David Bentley may also be on his way to Italy.

Unhappy Charles Insomnia is currently having a medical at Wigan, and will escape from Kinnear’s clutches later today.

As part of the Tottenham-Portsmouth exchange network, Spurs have accepted a bid from the south coast team for Giovani Dos Santos.

It’s no secret that Jo has been a bit rubbish at Manchester City, but he will get another chance to sign at Everton, where he will be on loan for the remainder of the season.

Blackburn wanted £25m for Roque Santa Cruz but Manchester City only bid £20m. Blackburn insists their star player will not move today.