World’s fastest man to give Manchester Utd star speed tips 

Thanks to some “creative editing”, it has been proven that Cristiano Ronaldo is faster than the world’s fastest production car. According to The Independent, however, the Portuguese winger will get a helluva lot quicker this summer, when he meets up with Usain Bolt, the world’s fastest man:

Cristiano Ronaldo, who is already the most elusive of customers in attack, is to have sprint lessons from Usain Bolt, the fastest- ever human on the planet.

The world player of the year and the world’s fastest man are to meet in the summer, when Bolt is in Europe competing on the Grand Prix and Golden League circuit and preparing for the World Championships, which take place in Berlin in August.

Shockingly, this pairing did not come as a result of a cynical corporate sportswear stunt (we’re looking at you, David Beckham and Kevin Garnett), as C-Ron is a Nike man and Usain Bolt loves him some Puma.

The proposed training session is in fact the result of a request by Bolt’s management, as the Jamaican is a huge football fan who wishes to add a signed Ronaldo shirt to his memorobilia collection.