The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Roman Pavlyuchenko back to Spartak Moscow
Pavlyuchenko insists he is happy at Spurs, but in light of the fact that Tottenham have been linked to every player under the sun for the past few months, rumours that he no longer has a future at The Lane are growing. According to The Daily Mail, a source at the striker’s former club says he would be welcome back on loan.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Guus Hiddink would certainly like to see his Russian star getting more games, and he has made his opinion about English food and women very clear, but it all depends if ‘Arry brings in some new faces in the summer.

Joey Barton to Bolton
If The Spoiler was in charge, vile oxygen thief Joey Barton would never be allowed near a football pitch again, but following his deserved exodus from the Shearer regime, Gary Megson is said to be interested once again.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Meggers had a £2m bid turned down in January because it was too low, but the Geordies will almost certainly accept a cut price bid in the summer.

Franck Ribery to Real Madrid
Earlier this week, The Guardian claimed Manchester Utd had put in a £63m bid for the French prankster, however, French sports daily L’Equipe say he will choose Real Madrid instead.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The motive for a move to Spain is to link up with Zinedine Zidane, who will join Madrid’s staff if (read: “when”) Florentino Perez becomes president.