French prankster set to join Spanish giants

You can grip him as hard as you like Uli, but he’s not going to stay

Real Madrid have made no secrets of their desire to land Franck Ribery in the closed season, and reports in Spain this morning suggest that they have beaten Manchester Utd for his signature.

According to daily Madrid sports paper As, the handsome French midfielder has “confirmed” to his agent that he is willing to accept an offer from Los Blancos. (We put “confirmed” in quotation marks because the Spanish report uses the word in its’ title, but fails to actually gain official confirmation from the player himself.)

Ribery agent Alain Migliaccio also represents the Bayern Munich star’s close personal friend Zinedine Zidane, who will  take charge of Madrid’s international relations if (when) Florentino Perez wins the elections (could they have picked a less friendly person to be in charge of international relations?).

Apparently, Zizou has already persuaded Ribery to come to Spain, but the player has asked that it is kept “secret” until May 24th, so not to detract from Bayern’s Bundesliga campaign.

The German club will accept nothing less than €50m for their star, a price Madrid are reportedly willing to meet. In concession that they have lost the battle to retain Ribery, Bayern General Manager Uli Hoeneß has admitted they are “trying to find a replacement”, and have taken a fancy to Werder Bremen’s Brazilian ace Diego.