Two of the world’s biggest libidos collide in LA

One is an over-sexed fame hungry whore who will do anything for attention, and the other is Paris Hilton.

In news that will surprise absolutely no one, Cristiano Ronaldo celebrated his transfer to Real Madrid in the company of one of America’s biggest waste of blood and organs.

By means of an incredible coincidence which could not have been pre-arranged, the Portuguese man-o-sex chanced upon the blonde heiress at Hollywood nightclub My House, where the tricky winger spent around £15,000 on drinks. Always one to slay the dragon named dignity, Miss Hilton draped herself over the him for the rest of the evening, allowing her black dress to ride up somewhere near her armpits.

Soon after, the pair headed to a Hollywood mansion owned by Paris’ sister Nicky. Due to the fact that Hollywood mansions are very cramped and curtains have yet to be introduced in the continental United States, they had no choice but to parade themselves in front of a window that looked out onto the waiting paparazzi. After around two hours in the home of US royalty, C-Ron was driven away.

Has he found a new love? Has he been given another reason to visit the VD clinic? Stay tuned on The Spoiler to find out!